After Mom got sick

There were several things that I learned after my mom got sick with cancer which my dad did not have to deal with when his cancer hit.

  • if you have no insurance, you will loose a lot of money
  • if you have no or little money, hopefully you have a lot of friends & family that still come around
  • if you have friends or family that stop coming for visits, you will suffer

My mom was an artist, she had no health plan.

Things I have been thinking about are me trying to make a difference for those that have little or no family, friends or funds without spending a lot of money (and in honesty, while not leaving the house – I have panic issues).

A few things I had never thought of before mom got sick:

  • your skin will hurt, even the smallest pressure can be painful
  • cutting toe nails (if you screw this up you can have a major problem with infections)
  • a head covering
  • being cold all the time
  • housework
  • gardening
  • silence
  • loneliness
  • a bath or shower ( even after we had a nurse to come in and help, she would cry because she was always so cold)
  • walking (even a couple of stairs was too much & no space for a ramp)
  • cooking (an oxygen line and a stove do not make for a safe way to live)
  • computer passwords
  • paying the actual bills (not so much the money but who to pay when)
  • shopping (the correct brands, sizes, etc)

The list can go on and on.  Even using the Cancer Care Support team there are a lot of things that unless you have the money to pay someone to do it;  you are screwed.  The cost of things like a good wig (even a “cheap” wig is $400.00), soft clothing, food that a person can swallow (mom’s cancer was into her esophagus), someone to help clean the house, make the meals, do the yard work, shovel the snow will really set you back.

Since mom’s passing, I have had a full mental meltdown and my body is rebelling as well.  One of the councilors suggested that I find someway that I could help from home since I can’t leave the house.  So as I try to find things for me to do, I share them with anyone reading.  My one aunt made mom some very lovely knitted hats, my other aunt sewed some beautiful ones as well.  They only made them for a while when mom first got sick.  I know both of them donated to the chemo cancer center at the hospital that my mom was going to.

So I challenge those that will read this to take the time at least once a month to make or do something that will make someone else’s life just a little bit better.


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